Two of his close friends sat and joked about this in front of my friends. He also shared intimate details about my body which became common knowledge to others at his all-boys high school. I began to hear of things that he had passed on to his friends. According to the bro-code, I had given him sexual favours in exchange for an Up&Go drink. Being raped at 17 brought the previous abuse I'd tried to bury all back to the surface again.įirst there was immense grief. If that wasn't traumatic enough to deal with, it also triggered past trauma from my childhood. Coming to terms with this was incredibly daunting. If I didn't acknowledge that anything was wrong, maybe nothing was? My closest friend knew that something wasn't right about the situation and after talking with her at length about it I was able to express and accept that I had been raped.
I knew in my gut that I had just been raped but I tried to suppress this and dismiss it for a few months. I remember feeling so confused by this, why was I crying? I'd just had sex for the first time and that was meant to be great, right? So why didn't I feel great? I went inside my house and sat in front of a mirror, staring at my reflection and began sobbing uncontrollably. He dropped me home the next morning laughing as he said, 'have a nice life' when I got out of his car.
